Published April 3, 2022
There has been a bit of a rain over the past few days. I went out yesterday (Wednesday) and although I stepped onto many people’s toes none of them agreed to join which was a bit sad. Some were busy and some of them were not interested. But it is what it is. Today is also a bit rainy. The weather forecast showed something like sixty (60) to seventy (70) percent chances of rain during the day. But rain alone cannot be an excuse for staying home and doing nothing. On the bright side, I am in fact planning something else specifically for such rainy days. Those are of course future plans and as such I will keep it posted should there be such encounters.
So today (Thursday the 29th) in the morning it was rainy as usual but there was a bit of sunshine as well and like yesterday, I was determined to go out.
In this episode of journey by train to CBD, I noticed a lot of people wearing masks. I normally don’t wear one, but I was getting anxious if I get caught and get a fine. Well, because of that my journey by train today was not that much sleepy and dreamy as it previously was. Anyways, so getting off at St James walking all the way down I headed off to townhall. I guess I made about ten (10) approaches in a span of around forty (40) minutes – nothing super exciting but not entirely abysmal either. Out of those approaches there were two ladies who appeared to be of European origin (Swedish I believe – judging by the height and color of their hair). I actually walked quite fast and for quite a bit from Myers all the way to townhall, but they too refused to participate with a smile. So out of those ten (10) approaches nine (9) lasted for about thirty (30) seconds and one (1) lasted for about three (3) hours and yes that’s the approach where we talked about pretty much everything which I will discuss today.
The approach:
I was in front of the light rail stop next to Woolworths at townhalls. I noticed from the side an interesting tattoo. It kinda caught my eye. I thought it was a snake. Mythical snake. There are lots of snakes in mythology. Lord Krishna for instance was carried across the river in the storm protected by a snake of a thousand hood. Lord Vishnu, Lord Shiva all have snakes 🐍into the story one way or the other. Snakes and mythology go hand in hand. “Well, that would make a good story” – I thought.
She was faced the other way and there was this light rail just approaching. She was standing atm – as far I remember. I thought she might get onto the light rail and leave. But it was the light rail that left a few seconds later and she took the seat on to the bench.
I believe I hesitated for a moment. “Well, she didn’t catch this light rail but surely will catch the next one. And that one will come in a minute; so there is not enough time for a rapid fire QnA!!”(lol)
Well, the next light rail also came along and as I saw her still seated, I went ahead without any delay right next to her. I uttered “Hi” waving my hand to get her attention and as she turned her head towards me, I went on: “I kinda like that tattoo. I would like to have a photo of yours.”
She nodded I believe. Because of the noise I couldn’t hear what she said. Then I asked her to come with me to the other side crossing the light rail stop next to where the cathedral is. As we walked together, I explained the project. My primary reasoning for coming across was because on the Woolworths side there are lot of people and in contrast, behind the cathedral next to where the school is, it’s pretty much empty which would be good for a less distracted conversation.
As I started taking photos in front of the school, I was interrupted by the security for taking photos on a private property and then we moved a bit further closer to the cathedral. There was also rain sometime during. We took the shed again under the school so despite my wish I had to stop shooting halfway through. And there we talked and talked and talked less distracted and more engaged. And about many things that we talked some of which I would keep to myself for privacy reasons.
At the very beginning – to get her mood uplifted a bit – I jokingly said, “tell me your secrets”. Although she told me that she didn’t have many secrets of her own, later however, during the discourse of about three hours or so it turned out she had a lot; not secrets so to speak but events that shaped her – built her, gave her the personalities she now possesses.
That tattoo was inspired by “spirited away” a fantasy film of a white dragon 🐉 HAKU (I later checked on the internet). River spirit. A boy who can turn into a dragon at will.
When I asked her what’s her name, she said I changed my name a few times. I am “River”.
I didn’t know back then it has connection to that dragon.
I was curious about the other tattoos too. There were a few of them. Couple of bees, a snake, two humans and the scene of a forest with people surrounding a fire. Perhaps the bees were representative of the year of her birth; or perhaps it was the snake – she told but I can’t remember.
During the discourse one thing appeared to me very accurate – that name – “River” – analogy or fantasy whatever that may be; her life itself appeared to me like a river that waxes and wanes, sometimes gently sometimes with fierce ferocity crushes onto the shore, with numerous ups and downs with turmoil of tears and sparks of joys and even then, of course still flowing down, never stopping or giving up. There were lots of affairs that seemed to me to justify that name she chose for herself.
Her favorite artist Greta Van Fleet when performed in Melbourne and being with them the whole time, taking their photos, sharing ideas with them; it was an emotional affair finally when it was time to depart two (2) am in the morning.
Ben who sparkled her twenty first (21) birthday with a hug and a few words “I love you”, or the screaming boss who couldn’t show appreciation to the slightest even when the job was extremely demanding both physically and mentally or her shoulder being dislocated out of heavy lifting during work and still keep working, or doing all the household with that painful arms and returning to work the next day with the same arms still feeling tingly and numb like the day before, or that little child who didn’t want to spend the weekend in the house of her own because it was emotionally too traumatic.
I was initially thinking not to mention these “secrets”, but the name “River” wouldn’t be justified without them mentioned her. And there are still more that I will keep to myself for now or forever.
Life presents with tough challenges and sometimes as I faced some challenges, I thought I was unlucky to have some of those. During this discourse I didn’t share much of my “secrets”. But it would be unfair if I don’t share one of my own at this point. When I came to Australia I was strapped for cash, and I took a job in the kitchen for several months. One day I cut my finger (thumb) so badly that blood sprung out of it and soon I fell to the ground shaking and sweating. I was unconscious or barely conscious – can’t precisely remember. But next day I turned up with fever and my finger roughly patched with a sheet of cloth – stained in red and toughened by the dried blood from the day before. While I was serving a cup of tea to the customer waiting outside, I had to fold my finger inside my palm to hide that cut and to avoid any unwanted inquiring by the curious customer – hurriedly going out and swiftly coming back into the kitchen staying out of the public view. I was not busy – nor in a rush of any sort – I was rather embarrassed; I was strapped for cash so much so that I couldn’t take a day off! Several months later, however, I decided to quit after landing on a better job and finding the existing job too stressful to cope with and as I brought up the issue of my quitting, I was stripped off my whole weeks salary because I didn’t give enough notice. Not that I earned much being paid at the lowest possible rates, but that treatment mattered. That fourth seven (47) hours I still feel like a lot – several years later. I put that worksheet in the back of my pocket where it got some creases. I still sometimes look at the photo I took long ago of that worksheet; employee ID: 7 hours worked: 46.59 hours.
“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but they will never forget for how you made them feel.”
One thing I liked about her was her persistence. A great warrior once said, “I will either find a path or make one”. After she told me of her shoulder being dislocated out of lifting and she still kept working on the job; I don’t think I would have gone back there the next day. But then I thought well perhaps because I would have given up easily. While doing this project most of the time I realize I give up fairly easily. Out of those nine (9) approaches that lasted for 30 seconds today, I would have gone a bit further, but I didn’t. Sometimes I do feel like “well, enough for today let’s go. I am here just for fun”. In retrospect with some guilt of course, I have to face myself asking “have I given up too quick?” – in life in general?
But what if my survival relied upon it; what if getting people onto this project and sharing their stories is what I would be doing to earn my livelihood? Taking an easy ride or stretching it further in the face of obstacles?
I remember a movie – Pursuit of Happiness by Will Smith – where he was portrayed as a hardworking salesman barely earning a living for himself and his son by selling that medical equipment. I still somehow remember those scenes – well, vaguely at least.
I am lucky I never had to stretch that hard but there are many people whose livelihood depends on one or many of those episodes. I was lucky I never had to go through such hardship. But perhaps I would probably be luckier had I learned and thrived facing those challenges.
We talked a lot about vulnerability. We are all vulnerable although we may appear strong on the outset. That dragon comes to mind – white dragon – river spirit. Perhaps as an allegory rives stands as epitome of that vulnerability. Appearing strong and forceful yet soft; it can cry but can also hide that crying and then again keeps going on and on and on…
